There's a difference in how I'm presentin my traumas and problems, This is my love life explained in a microcosm. You askin my feelings bout it as if you really give a fuck tho, Since I know you really don't my response is I don't know. Cause I don't....

I'm sayin..... well I'll let that be, I talk about a lotta shit but never speak about me. So.... here's a better description, A nigga since day one been terrified of commitment. Hoop dreams snatched away cause I clouded my own vision, Then a product of bein scammed by public school systems. Middle school dumbass a real young misogynist, And only could imagine a real girl massagin this. Got to high school I was in corn ball recovery, Had to thank god a couple good people discovered me. Justice, Malik, Bliss, Issi, All potential superstars that I could see on tv. What motivated me now didnt motivate me then, Cause if I had real a plan I wouldn't be here to begin. I had the world in my palm but i felt self conscious, I felt over privileged so I never pursued honors. All the knowledge in the world but I wanna be wit my people, So if that meant hidin my potential I was gonna make us equal. And even that didnt work I just made my life tough, On top of bein too dark and not bein black enough. Mentally this shit has always really fucked me up, I never viewed myself as great i only made it to the cusp. And as some of you can imagine that kinda tainted my trust, Cause if I cant trust me then who the hell ima trust. Envisioned since a child that I'd be a Duke scholar, Just to be a letdown when i finally got in college. Met someone back then who is to remain nameless, Not cause I'm ashamed but because it wasnt painless. Did a lotta toxic shit like a nigga brainless, But that was how I saw love and didnt see why to change it. Said a lotta stupid shit did a lotta great shit, Some attributes I gave her other tendencies she came wit. Do I have any regrets? Nigga I got plenty, Women say niggas ain't shit and I added to the many. No I never cheated and nah I wasn't abusive, But I could've been mentally and that's one of MY conclusions. Now the one I'm wit is like the woman of my dreams, She remains teachable but innocent as can be. And as egotistical as that statement sounds, Yall would never guess how much shit she's taught me. Theres only one problem and that's me, The image I've always seen of love cant let this be. Like how sick am I... I'm not well rested, I could be on disability if a nigga got tested. When we're around each other my mind roams dreadfully, Thoughts of dad loanin money but never wanna invest in me. Moms tellin stories of how she wanted the best for me, Havin dreams of my girl bein with the nigga that molested me. Then the next dream is me bein unfaithful, It results into me waking up feelin ungrateful. All the beautiful qualities that most niggas would die for, And we gettin into arguments why the fuck you make her cry for? Hidin little truths from me I'm like what you got to lie for, I point the finger to myself because I see that I'm coarse. I try to do the impossible to seek my own satisfaction, Gettin angry not makin whole numbers outta improper fractions. Gettin angry at repetition bringin overreactions, Gettin angry at indecisive people having retractions. Like nigga you keep bringin it on yourself, So if you dont make a fuckin change you gone need to get some help. And I dont know who to go to, My brain feeding me lies like chicken flavor on tofu. Remindin me of the times when I first got to know you, But not givin you a fair chance to evolve from the old you. My arrogance assumed that you can upgrade from my presence, Even though you have I'm not a period to your sentence. I realize it's been a problem and I been blocking your blessings, And I been blockin mine too from seein your true ascension. Fast forward a couple years and I done grown so much, So much so my feet no longer fit the shoes I loved. I'm single again runnin round since I got cheated on, Only lookin for friends cause I'm faithful to these beats I'm on. Hurtin feelings killin hope receding like vegeta dome, Hoping that they understand my dick sayin you know they won't. (Sigh) I know they wont... Who I've become as a man is what they admire and cant stand, Everyone around me growin my father's a new man. My mother got different plans my sisters havin premonitions, We as a family movin as a new clan. And still.... We riiigghhhttt herrrreee

I can only try to describe imagination, So many pictures fit so many different faces. I'm sorry that I can't take you all these places, I can only do what these women callin basic. I can only do my best to court you, But you only want me to escort you. Gotta fault the roladex mindset, I aint blamin onlyfans.. you know I still support you. I can only show you all you my best shape, But you only wanna look at one phase. I know you know that we all have bad days, Why you only holdin me down to my past ways. I'm tied down to these narratives, Building barricades is imperative. Even if it means blocking relatives, It's by any means so to hell with em. I can only try to make you happy, But you only lookin to be catty. Ridin around lookin for clubs, Nothings to par cause you don't want a man you want a daddy. You can only try to help me love myself, But I only get defensive when you help. It's a lotta scars from my past I don't mean to make em last, But I'm used to people weaponizing help. You can only show me that you care, But I only picture when you not there. Anxiety my bitch insecurity my side, Depression who I think about when I sleep at night. All my struggles come from mental health, I keep findin women I need to find help. Giving them the greatest version of myself, Along wit great dick I don't know nothin else. Give you encouragement when you feel down, I make you feel safe whenever I'm around. I'll give you everything you want in a man, But if you want commitment find someone else.

I can tell you want me, But it's just gone backfire. I know that you love me, I aint heard that in a while. But I'm not addicted to attention I aint worthless, Your acceptance is appreciated but it won't be worshipped. My value as a man is the most important to me, Its not the pride but handling responsibilities. Take care of who? I won't take care of you, Youre selfless cause your selfish won't nothin be fair to you. That point will be missed, But I did my part to share it. I'm sure you get the gyst, But if you don't you'll soon cherish it. You reject me now because with problems I address it, The truth can be your fix injecting lies won't repair shit. I want you to come back But I know can't go back I'm learning to say no to what's bad for me (2x) So much we could've changed but we was playin games, Now it's so much disdain and both of us is to blame. I refuse to be used and abused to the point I'm jaded, Now I'm hated cause the bigger picture is in my mindframe. At all times and all costs despite my sanity, I could see now the spirit of wisdom has branded me. Syfer tried to tell me that in 2018, I shoulda did more with that but here is where it landed me. I'm sharin it freely cause I ain't got no more dealings, While yall sellin ya souls but askin for spiritual healing. That don't make a lotta sense to me but shit to each's own, If you still for the kingdom I can't tell you how to watch your throne. So I'll be over here.. you can stay over there, Im aware of the righteousness stifled within my home.

I'm attracted to abusive women, I'm in love with relieving their tension. I'm numb inside, my emotions died, I'm addicted to feeling your feelings. I understand you might bite back, Even when you wrong I aint gone fight back. I love the yellin, cursin, cryin, fussin, I'm attracted to hearin you aint mean that. Call me toxic I know... ain't nothin new, What's also toxic, is all the shit you put me through. You're in love with makin me feel inferior, Cause it hurts for you to stitch up your interior. But no complaints here... do what you do, Cause you love it here... and I love it too. You the last person I should be here wit, But ima stay hoping you change I aint runnin away from shit. This is what I Love (6x) I love that you think you're submissive, I love that you think I don't be treatin you different. Its so many things I introduced to you, I love that you still group me with them other niggas. Keep my ceiling low and your emotions high, Look forward to life give me that side eye. My libido been raging your touch I been cravin, But I keep it tucked low I know how your day went. Am I empathetic or am I pathetic?, Put what I want last Cause it's bad to be selfish. Thats what I learned growin up, I know I'm not emotionally available but if you ask I'm always showin up. I'm addicted to feeling your feelings, My emotions died, I'm numb inside. I'm in love with relieving your tension, I'm attracted to abusive women. This is what I Love (6x)

I ask myself on a daily regiment, Why do I tolerate what I know I'm better than. Is it because my standards low and I crave acceptance, Or my fear of bein alone makin me second guess. What I deserve... am I worthless or worth it all, Another question that I gotta ask myself first. Trynna retrace my steps from where I am now, Back to when I was makin dance videos on gravenhurst. Where could I have misstepped Fallin for these false emotions, Maybe I shouldn't expect For these bonds to not be broken. I got a reflex to start with respect, And thats not gone change my faith won't let you interject. People set they bridges on fire to test the strength, Then be surprised thats it too burnt for them to drive on. Can't spend my time blamin other people for my bad decisions, Pretty sad that's the ledge that yall choose to die on. My arms are heavy and my legs match I keep my head high so God stay in contact I don't really pray we just have conversations Fast paced thoughts leave no room for meditation X2 I dont think about my purpose I think about my value, Confused as to why I keep rethinking my values. Reflection is a lonely road, Perception is a cold stone. X2 Steady mindin the business of people that out ya bracket, Moldin ya vision out of missions that ain't gone happen. To be lookin for consistency you movin real sporadically, Then you'll find stats to comfort emotional status. See... you've created your anxiety and your depression, I know it's hurts to hear but that's apart of self stressin. Bein a victim doesn't create victim mindsets, They don't want the pity pandering that yall accept. Yall get exactly what yall want and yall dont really want it, Apart of growin up is bein ready for these moments. The older we get the less things seem right, Lookin for love through socioeconomic stereotypes. You lookin for a business partner wit romantic tendencies, It's a reason them relationships is banned ethically. But you'll learn your lesson you made it this far, If there's hope for me then I know there's hope for yall. My arms are heavy and my legs match I keep my head high so God stay in contact I don't really pray we just have conversations Fast paced thoughts leave no room for meditation X2 I dont think about my purpose I think about my value, Confused as to why I keep rethinking my values. Reflection is a lonely road, Perception is a cold stone. X2

Verse 1: What you lookin for is what I felt I always was, I learned I was wrong and you STILL fell in love. You think I'm beatin myself up.. I'd beg to differ, I BEEN fightin myself and now I'm finally winnin. I just ask not to judge.. while I'm sittin here in front of you, I see how it can look.. but im not expecting nothing from you. if you understand loud silence listen to me yell nothin, you wont ask why im quiet you hear why i aint sayin nothin. i seen high expectations turn into degradation, good points made invalid cause of bad presentation. Different personalities based on the congregation, I got too much trauma to search for love I’ll keep waitin. i can only hope you get me .. i wont even ask that, Because i understand its expensive to be patient. Verse 2: im seein a lotta low roads taken i wonder why, is it because you hurt and disrespect wont fly. is it because you authentic and you hate hearin lies, oh... i forgot... mercury is in retrograde right? datin today is so hard i wonder why is that, usin a planets revolution to avoid account is where we at. now you on your phone askin your socials what to do, how bout you stop askin questions that you already know the answer to. well thats a good start, you 95 percent of the reason that your world is fallin apart. you an adult with no gameplan just exit strategies, issues with commitment is how you broke your own heart. you cant trust if you got commitment issues, you cant respect if it was never given to you. this also means receiving it will be a challenge too, but you’d rather be loud and wrong than be quiet and accountable. hook: i see more than you can understand, thats why i choose to be quiet. i can argue with you all day, but i can say more with my silence... more with my silence.

From the first time we met I was upset dealin wit some heartbreak lately, You came into the picture made a couple switches had me do some hard double takin. You aint switch it up for me you did it for you and now I'm hooked like the verse is waitin, I aint been around the block shot many shots but you still dont intimidate me. Our chemistry rose the pressure was on the moment approached you wanted to face me, Took off your dress, I took off my shirt, you whisper in my ear you wanna embrace me. Took off the rest what happened next had you doin uncontrollable shakin, Check the technique these drippin wet sheets Is only 10 percent sweat baby. *gap* *repeat last bar w/ telephone effect* My tongue flickin up and we can record it your legs on my shoulder so I can support it, 2 fingers in 2 fingers out at the same time ya clit in my mouth. Come up wit a grin wipin my chin tell you to hush you gettin too loud, I'm lickin pussy juice off my tattoos seein you cum will get me aroused. You reach for my pants I'm movin ya hand we'll get to that part in due time, Now look in my drawer hand me that rose she said the what? My partner in crime. Do you remember what we used to be? Do you remember what we used to be? I remember what we used to be Remember what we used to be... yeah Do you remember what we used to be? Do you remember what we used to be? I remember what we used to be Remember what we used to be... yeah I pray you get the answers.. to the questions you been askin, And I pray that you listen not try to justify ya actions. Cause we all make mistakes.. until they turn into excuses, Then start thinkin wit emotions confusing immature wit passion. Now I don't mind a work in progress but I damn sure can't rebuild you, You looking deep into my retina seein how I can fulfill you. If you feelin empty I promise I can't fill ya void, And I promise fuckin you won't help nothin you'll just make a lotta noise. I'm trynna prevent you from lustin over me trynna show you that I really care, Trynna show you that our bond is different.. me and your past they don't compare. I'll bend you over make you hold ya ankles tell you arch ya back and keep ya head high, I'll spit on whatever I know ima lick on from head to toe until ya bedtime. Strokin you good and switchin the tempo pullin it out and smackin the front doe, Puttin it back in just like you begged foe but ima still tease you with the tip tho. Made you squirt off of intimacy made you cum off of interest in me, Our time together is a climax I just wonder if you remember when we.... Do you remember what we used to be? Do you remember what we used to be? I remember what we used to be Remember what we used to be... yeah Do you remember what we used to be? Do you remember what we used to be? I remember what we used to be Remember what we used to be... yeah

i been thinkin bout and reminiscing back to better times, wishin our communication had been more defined. wishin my mistakes never made it to front street, now im stuck with these thoughts its just me and my mind. its just me in my mind its a really scary venue, my brain a restaurant and my heart is on the menu. it was clear when we met what you already had been thru, but i knew at the time i was easist to cling to. i apologize... i used to have hope, i just wanted to heal you before i let you go. my fear turned to fraud and the fraud turned you foe, i feared if i was blunt we wouldve went up in smoke. trust i understand it looks like i used you, even though i did just look how it tuned you. now you love yourself and you never knew how, from our inception i knew that you could push through. Everytime i see you.. you look so good... so good Everytime I'm near you I wish you would.... come closer and closer Everything I put myself through with you was for you But I must say... till this day... it still hurts to see you.. see you There's a couple things I never told you, Compromising morals won't mature you. Begging for completion won't restore you, You aint fightin demons that's just old you. Look into the mirror find the problem, Look again and you see the solution. Stop bein afraid of their perception, Just do what improves you. *dance break* Everytime i see you.. you look so good... so good Everytime I'm near you I wish you would.... come closer and closer Everything I put myself through with you was for you But I must say... till this day... it still hurts to see you.. see you

Baby if you could understand my comprehension you could project my composition and vice versa, Relationships are taken as competitions no cooperation i see why you wont listen im your opponent. What will it take for you to fathom its not a fight its a race but its a relay.... pass your baton Im afraid you let ya feelings numb ya facts you want me back but now im drake... im so far gone I can joke my way outta any situation im patient, You say you need me but we argue when we on vacation. How can i believe you you betrayed my trust and got complacent, But get offended when women prepare to be ya replacement. I wont ignore them messages.. I wont ignore them calls, You fearful of my response cause you know you did me wrong. I won’t coddle you cause that kinda shit i dont condone, I learned my lesson made it years off a trauma bond. How the fuck we get here nobody’s supposed to be here, Deborah Cox told me that but i was only 3 years. Maybe it didn’t adhere I need some mental adhesives, That keep a better grip than clean hardwood wit new kyrie sneakers. Cause I'm slippin and I'm fallin but before I get up, Ima put a sign here so you dont trip where I fucked up. Innovating new ways to protect my mental interphase, While i monitor what I master so it wont be mixed up. And so on and so on (x3) It seems like a never ending cycle of drama, Compilations of problems formed by unaddressed traumas. Certain trigger words will stick out I can't control your reaction, You'll prolly just call me toxic for labeling satisfaction. Every push has a pull... so what you really gain from it, You single wit experience... all that means nothing. Did you really mean it when you said you matured, I looked you in your eyes and you were cryin out for help. I took the air out the room when I asked if you was sure, Cause I knew you said that shit just trynna convince yaself. I gotta cut you off for lyin and its not cause I'm mad, It's because you had a choice for truth and chose to lie for nothin. Who am I to judge? I'm the one that got help, I didn't look for counseling I looked inside myself. Didn't look for reasons to validate bad habits... I kept at it, Didn't look for pity when I was scarred... I kept scratchin. Everytime I reached out my hand for help... they kept slappin, You confused by my seclusion.. i stepped in my own bracket. Aint that some shit... cant win for losin, I get blamed for cold times since I became my own jacket.

She say I'm killin dreams cause im movin like a machine, i promise it aint my fault the last b**ch done made a scene. i learned from the best of em so i wont be the rest of em, im on to the next of em now shorty left on seen. (2x) (i read that sh*t 2x) Shorty left on seen (I read that sh*t 2x) Shorty left on seen i learned from the best of em so i wont be the rest of em, im on to the next of em now shorty left on seen. These premonitions got my vision clear, Statisticians knowin why I'm here. Predicament bright like filaments, Yo Conditioning aint in my fears. Cheers... take a shot make it drop... its a celebration, Sippin on D'usse.... feel like a recalibration. I text to check where you at... but I got location, Gotcha best friend in my bed.... that's called retaliation. Her a** fat yours flat.... I feel vindicated, Don't worry your shit packed up... find a new situation. You can call me cold hearted but just don't call me, I got b***hes in rotation spinning like a Spalding. You tellin me you down bad b***h that don't involve me, You thought that you could do better.... thats what they all think. She say I'm killin dreams cause im movin like a machine, i promise it aint my fault the last b**ch done made a scene. i learned from the best of em so i wont be the rest of em, im on to the next of em now shorty left on seen. (2x) (i read that sh*t 2x) Shorty left on seen (I read that sh*t 2x) Shorty left on seen i learned from the best of em so i wont be the rest of em, im on to the next of em now shorty left on seen. This what heartbreak do random women call me boo, Then they hit me out the blue like what you trynna get in to. I aint even gotta response I just let em do what they do, Shit my body count low she throwin that p**sy thats my cue. To kick her out the crib I know my capabilities, I can tell her traumas got her givin out p**sy generously. If a n***a treat you good give you wood and it's exceptional, You gone plan our future before we establish chemistry. What the hell wrong witcha, you paintin the wrong picture. sex dont to equate romance, so i can f**k and not f**k wit ya. I’ll keep it in my pants, i aint trynna take a chance. [ i see what happen when i f**k you good, im on bull sh*t this my last dance. ] [Repeats 3x] She say I'm killin dreams cause im movin like a machine, i promise it aint my fault the last b**ch done made a scene. i learned from the best of em so i wont be the rest of em, im on to the next of em now shorty left on seen. (1x)

I don't think that you understand what I'm really expressin, You think I'm dumb I know why you deleted them messages. If it's just a coworker then I shouldn't be expectin shit, All cause you assumed mine was really hard pressed for dick. Unlike you I got control under my belt, I don't need that attention or random women to hear me out. I coulda left a few bitches devastated while in Florida, Lucky for you I had already told Chico to stall you out. The signs and symptoms showed for years, All them pointless fallin tears. You cryin while you lyin, All your stories fallin on deaf ears. There's a huge secret that's real embarrassing I had to keep discreet. I watched you for a long time carry on the dumb shit you do.. For every boy who cries wolf there's a woman who plays the sheep, So.. I Don't Know..... If You Know..... That I Knew ......yep..... I knew the whole time....